|Complete List of Pet Articles @ PetManiacs.com | Home|
Hamsters and their quest for world domination
"Hamsters?!" I hear you say. "Who cares about some fury little rodents." You ignorant little fool, you're pay the price for your stupidity when the Hamsters lead by yours truly will rise up and DESTROY YOUR LAME SPECIES! We are closer to this than you think. While you sleep, we are slowly spreading our influence. At first it was small. After been first discovered in 1930 by zoologist and Professor Aharoni at the University of Jerusalem, in the Syrian Desert, we quickly made our way to all four corners of the globe. With the exception of Hawaii, which does not allow its residents to own a hamster. A law was passed, hoping prevent escaped hamsters from reproducing and messing up the ecosystem. Huh.
Acting as cuddly little pets to children gave us the control of the older ones in the household and thus, our first taste of power! But many of us were used for - and still are - lab experiments, due to our superior disease-free nature and that we have a new litter every month. Since we have an extraordinarily high liking and tolerance for alcohol (our tolerance is equivalent to 40 times the human tolerance in proportion to body weight) experiments have gone as far as scientists who are testing a Chinese herb for its efficacy at curbing alcohol consumption. So if, late one night, you see a run-down drunk hamster on the street, clutching a lamppost for support, you'll know it was done in the name of Science. (http://www.accessexcellence.org/WN/SUA06/alcoham.html) But with our brainwashing skills processing our owners, many showed theIr distaste at such practises and protested against them, which have set us free!
But our secret plans were almost ruined when a game released on the Sega Genesis called "Toe Jam & Earl" featured hamsters in hamster balls as the bad guys in the game. Luckily it sold poorly and thus, not many where exposed to our darkside and any who did, saw it as a joke and thought it was hilarious. Just when we thought it was clear, an episode of "Pinky & The Brain" contained an evil brown hamster that looked like a mobster trying to take over the world. He failed and thus, our cover was secure.We have even got as far as running for US president 2004! (www.hamsterforpresident.com) We were set for world domination! We were to rid you of your corruption and incompetence.
Unfortunately at the last moment, somebody reliesed that Diddley Squat and Bupkes were Hamsters. Nether the less. A new campaign for 2008 is under way and this time we have come prepared. While the facts that our average life span is 3 years and that we are only the size of your hand may seem to count against us, we have carefully created complex messages of propaganda disguised as a music entertainment group (www.hamsterdance.com) which should be much more successful than our last, crude attempts e.g. "Four against Willi", a game show from West Germany. Hosted by German comedian/singer Mike Krueger, where two families of four members would each go head to head in competition, taking part in some zany contests, many of which included hamster-related events, such as running around on a giant wheel. It was cancelled after just a few shows, back in 1987.
And if I say 1000 days instead of 3 years, it sounds much bigger.
Hamster writes for http://www.random-plus.com
Top 10 benefits of Natural and Holistic Pet Care
There are a number of reasons for choosing natural pet foods, treats and supplies. First, use of natural products is consistent with a holistic view.
Is Pet Insurance Right For Your Pet?
Trying to decide if you should get insurance on your pet? There are of course pro's and con's to it. Years ago I decided to try it out.
Cats And Litter Box Problems
If your cat has recently decided not to use the litter box, this can create a lot of stress for both of you. This frequently happens, and often there is a simple fix for the problem.
My Fathers Daughter
My dad was an avid animal lover. We grew up with all kinds of animals but especially dogs.
Immune System Booster for Your Pets
Many chronic diseases commonly seen in pets result from immune suppression. Diabetes, allergies, breathing difficulties, thyroid disease, inflammatory bowel diseases, recurrent ear infections, and even cancer, are all examples of an immune system gone wrong.
How to Increase Your Fishkeeping Fun
Do you really get the fullest amount of enjoyment out of your fish?, or is it hampered by little worries and anxieties?Do you sometimes worry that you may be spending too much time with your fish? I often hear people remark that although they enjoy their hobby, the routine maintenance tasks involved detract from the fun.In this month's feature we will explore how we can increase our fun by maybe taking a different approach to those mundane activities that are so essential if we are to keep our fish in tip top condition.
Do You Know What You Are REALLY Feeding Your Pet?
When looking for the best dog food - consider Life's Abundance. The "best food for dogs" are not all created equal.
Those Amazing Dog Noses -- Fun Facts About A Chilly Little Organ
If you thought dog noses were just a source of smeary prints on your windows, think again!========How Nose Prints save dog's lives======Nose prints are used to identify dogs in the same way finger prints are used to identify human beings. Breeders and trainers keep a dog's nose prints on file as part of its permanent record and insurance companies now require them whenever a dog is to be bonded.
Tips on Choosing a Boxer Dog...
An easier and more pleasant journey with your chosen Boxer starts with checking out the parent dogs for unbecoming traits like aggression, hyperactive and extreme shyness.This is easier to do when you get your Boxer from a reputable breeder or from a pet shop that get their animals only from known breeders.
Training Collars: Teaching Your Dog Basic Obedience and Breaking Bad Habits
Training CollarsTraining collars are a tool many pet owners utilize to teach their pets boundaries. There are several different types and several different options available to the consumer.
The Lowdown on Dog Vaccinations
Over the last 20 years, vaccinations have generally been started in puppies at about 6-8 weeks of age, when the natural immunity inherited from the mother may start wearing off. A series of shots will then be given every three to four weeks, and boosters are administered every year after that.
Have an Itchy Dog? Consider These Grooming Tips Before Turning To Chemical Treatments
Many dogs today suffer from itchy skin caused by a variety of factors. Dogs actually have more sensitive skin than humans, and are often exposed to a variety of irritants in their environment.
Choosing a Vet For Your Dog - A Dog Owners Checklist
Most dogs live between ten and seventeen years. Therelationship you have with your veterinarian is going to be along one.
Scottish Terrier Dogs - Important Facts
Scottish Terriers are short-legged dogs, at a height of ten to eleven inches, comparatively heavy-boned, yet deceivingly trim. They are agile and sporty pets.
Dog Breeds for Allergy Sufferers
Allergies to dogs can strike anyone at any age, yet with how attached most owners are to their dogs, they seem to chose living with their allergies rather then giving up their beloved pets.If you find yourself getting congested or suffering a runny nose, itchy nose, sneezing, itchy and watery eyes, coughing, sore throat, skin rashes or hives, headaches, fatigue, difficulties breathing, or asthma symptoms when you're around dogs, then you probably have allergies.
Are You Listening To Your Cat Talking?
Is your cat talking to you?Many cat lovers claim that their feline pets talk to them. They believe their cats can communicate vocally with them and tell them what they want, how they are feeling, and ask how their day has been! So, can domestic cats talk? Can the meows and trills that emanate from your kitty really be described as your cat talking to you?Yes it can!, and no it can't.
10 Questions Im Most Asked about Dogs in Heat
1. What is heat?Heat is more properly called the estrous cycle.
Herbs for Pets
Let me begin by saying that I am not an herbalist. I do not recommend using herbs as internal medication for your pets unless you have consulted a holistic vet and/or have done extensive reading and research and feel safe treating your pet.
Dog Travel - Taking a Vacation with Your Dog
Like most dog owners, you probably take your dog with you on weekend excursions and trips to the country. When it comes time to take a longer vacation, however, we always face the dilemma of what to do with Fido.
How to Start a Pet-Sitting Business
Everyday someone asks me, "How do you start a pet-sitting business?" I try to answer their question succinctly. But the truth is, starting a pet-sitting business, or any business is not always a succinct process.
PetManiacs.com's Free! Pet Classified Ads
Click here to Post your ads | View by Location | View by Subject
Click here to Post your ads | View by Location | View by Subject
Pet Website Owners Wanted
Pet Maniacs home | site map | Pet Article List