|Complete List of Pet Articles @ PetManiacs.com | Home|
Clipper Experiments: A Tail in Two Parts
Poor Dog. Subjected to my most ambitious experiments, she still falls for the old line, "C'mon, Honey, it'll be FUN!" Grooming the Dog and Fun do not belong in the same sentence together. This is a fact.
I bought some handy Oster clippers at the pet store a while back. Even while I stood waiting my turn at the cash register, I could hear Honey's tiny little scream in the back of my head . . . "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" But I did not listen. I forged ahead. Do you have any idea what it costs to get a dog like that groomed? She's half Chow, half Golden Retriever, with the chow's thick fur.
I am not a fan of instructions. I will read instructions if absolutely necessary, if forced to, but in most cases I will just learn on-the-job. This can be hazardous for certain tasks. Like electrical wiring, perhaps, which is why I don't do any of that. So I read enough of the instructions to get a comb thingie attached to the clippers, oiling them first.
Honey is not a big fan of buzzing objects. I don't know why this is. Perhaps she was scared by a loud buzzing object when she was a puppy. Maybe it's just annoying. Maybe the sight of me holding a buzzing object strikes terror into her little canine heart. I don't know. But she will cooperate somewhat, as long as I concentrate on the areas she wants me to concentrate on, and avoid the areas she wants me to avoid. I, however, do not believe in humoring her in this way. What? You don't want me to clip around your butt? Okay, that's where I want to then. You don't want to lose all that fur around your neck? Okay, off with it!
Every so often, or more frequently, she'll get up and wander off in a vain attempt to avoid the clippers. Since we're on a small deck and she can't escape back into the house, I just move closer to her. It's very aggravating to her, I'm sure, but we're really not there for her amusement, but for mine, so I don't care. She'll sit, or lay, and as I gently run the clippers through her fur, with tufts of it falling here and there, I can see her sighing to herself. It is a trial. But I am having fun! There is fur falling off in piles!
I do not read the instructions, nor do I have any training in this sort of activity. That is obvious from what is occurring with the poor dog. A portion of a back leg is clipped, so the fur there is white. A centimeter away, the fur is not clipped, so it long and golden. Her ruff is the same. It is not my fault. She was sitting quietly for a couple of minutes so I experimented with the ruff. I have discovered that when my dog's excessive ruff is reduced, she looks fatter. Let this be a lesson to us all: want to look thinner? Get more hair around an already fat neck.
I have been told that when I have worked on my dog it is embarrassing for her as the other dogs will point and laugh, but I don't think this is true. I don't think dogs CARE what they look like, and I don't think other dogs are that interested in what other dogs look like as much as they're interested in what they smell like. And my dog smells good. Well, she smells like a dog, but she's fine with that.
After being "groomed" rather haphazardly for awhile, Honey develops a new trick. She stands and she gets right up next to me. Since I'm sitting on my crossed legs, she's as big as I am, and she stands as close to me as she can get. A solid immoveable object jammed up against me. Awwww, my dog loves me! Well, yes, of course she does, but that is not the point of this particular exercise. The point of this particular exercise is to make sure I can't use the clippers on her anymore. How can I when she's jammed up next to me? I try pushing her away, but she won't move. She acts as if she doesn't know what's going on. As if she's there just to be close to me, as if she doesn't know what I'm trying to do . . .
The dog is stubborn. I think she gets it from me.
When we finish, it's not because we're finished, not by any stretch of the imagination. The dog is a patchwork quilt of uneven fur, choppy in some places, long and silky in others. And it's not because, despite the title, I have managed to clip her tale in two. It is because the job, to do properly, would take eight hours straight and I don't have the energy, the stamina, or the will to do so. Frankly, we're not that interested in perfection. That's boring. We're after a unique look, and I think we've achieved that. There is no other dog that looks like this, not once I've finished with her.
She stands alone, a testament to amateurism and on-the-job training. It's the American way.
Monique Young writes humor for a living, when she isn't keeping books or doing taxes. Her dog, Honey, does nothing useful but is fun to watch. She (Monique, not Honey), can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org (website currently under construction).
Does Your Bichon Frise Eat His Own Poop?
Hi,I'm Janet CombsMy mother bred and raised Bichon Frises for 23 years. I have been a Bichon Frise breeder for 13 years.
West Highland Terrier Rescue Dog - What To Expect When You Bring It Home
Congratulations on your choice to bring home a West Highland Terrier rescue dog. By electing to adopt one of the rescued Westies, you are giving an older dog a chance to find a loving new homeIn many ways, this is simpler than going through the arduous process of training a westie terrier puppy.
Six Dog Training Tips to Modify Negative Behavior
Almost every dog owner will have to use some sort of behavior modification techniques at one time or another when training their prized pet. If you are able to 'get' why your dog does what he does, when he does it, you are one step closer to solving the problem.
Chicken Compared To Chicken Meal
When selecting the best dry food for your dog, why is it better to go with the chicken meal than the pure chicken? Chicken meal is simply chicken that has been baked to remove bacteria and other toxins. Chicken is simply pure chicken.
Thats No Paris Hilton! An Overview of Dog Obedience Training Videos
Mention the word "video" and different people would come up with different ideas. Some would remember those home movies they made during special occasions spent with family and friends.
My Dog Won't Stop Digging - What Can I Do?
Lonely, bored, tired of eating that same old stick, then maybe you would like to dig yourself a hole.When it comes to the canine thought process this could be the reason why Scraps keeps tearing up your finely groomed lawn.
How To Keep Your Cat Happy and Healthy - Playtime for Kitty
While dogs tend to get lots of exercise, cats are often left to their own devices, having to find their own ways of exercising if they are kept indoors.Cats have gone from working animals to creatures of leisure.
10 Greatest Puppy Training Tips of All Time
The 10 Greatest Puppy Training Tips of All TimeAccording to Dog Training Experts10) When trying to settle a puppy into a new home, providing them with a warm hot water bottle and placing a ticking clock in the room where they sleep will help to replicate the body heat and heartbeat of their litter mates and can really help them to relax in their new environment.9) When taking your puppy to the Vet for its first inoculations, health checks etc, it is good practice to sit with your puppy on your lap and not have him or her on the floor.
How to Start a Pet-Sitting Business
Everyday someone asks me, "How do you start a pet-sitting business?" I try to answer their question succinctly. But the truth is, starting a pet-sitting business, or any business is not always a succinct process.
Dog Training Collars -- Proper Selection Leads To Training Success
The proper selection of a training collar can have a significant impact on the success of any dog training program. Most new dog trainers make the mistake of choosing a dog collar that does not allow for adequate control during the training sessions.
Facts You Need To Know About Adopting A Dog
Mum, dad, can we get a puppy? Its a plea that may parents will know only too well. How do you go about adopting a dog to make suure that the dog is happy and there isn't too much upheaval in your home?If you are thinking of adding a dog to your family, consider adopting your new best friend from an animal shelter or humane society.
Introducing a New Kitten to Your Older Cat.
So, you read somewhere that introducing a new kitten into your home could be great for your existing cat, for companionship. And you remember how much fun your cat was when she was a new kitten, and you would love to re-live those days.
Canine Selection: A Guideline for Picking Your Perfect Companion
Let's face it - everything is cute when it's small and furry. Puppies especially, but keep in mind that even a wolverine is playfully adorable if it's young enough, so for the sake of all the Fidos out there and your life, make a personal selection that is suited to your lifestyle.
A Review of Cat Fancy Magazine
Occasionally, some of us get to do work that is totally fun and such is the case with my assignment to review Cat Fancy Magazine. My own two Bengal cats volunteered to assist with my research but in the end both of them were found sleeping on the job.
Does Your Boston Terrier Want To Be With You?
This may come as a surprise..
Weaning Puppies Is Only Natural
Weaning puppies is a perfectly natural process. Mamma dogs have been doing it successfully for ages, so how hard can it be, right?But humans, not being dogs, can sometimes forget the natural part, and get confused about it.
How to Groom Your Horse
Grooming means taking care of the physical maintenance of the horse. The sight of a well-groomed horse gives immense pleasure to true horse lovers.
Responsible Dog Ownership
With all the companionship and love that our dogs give so freely, it's hard to imagine that some owners just don't take responsibility for their dogs. But it's true.
New Book Helps Worried Owners Of A Pregnant Cat
'Help, my cat is pregnant and I don't know what to do!' Not a day goes by without someone posting this message to an Internet forum.Worried cat owners will know what to do if they read How To Take Care Of Your Pregnant Cat.
Maintaining your Fish Bowls
Maintaining your fish bowl can be difficult sometimes. However, your fish bowl should be kept as hygienic as possible.
PetManiacs.com's Free! Pet Classified Ads
Click here to Post your ads | View by Location | View by Subject
Click here to Post your ads | View by Location | View by Subject
Pet Website Owners Wanted
Pet Maniacs home | site map | Pet Article List